


the entries of jeralt eisner

by tenderfirstlove



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Byleth reads more diary entries, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Parent Jeralt Reus Eisner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22602532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderfirstlove/pseuds/tenderfirstlove
Summary: Byleth reads further within Jeralt's diary and finds some interesting entries.
Relationships: Jeralt Reus Eisner & My Unit | Byleth, Minor Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth - Relationship, My Unit | Byleth & Sothis
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48





	the entries of jeralt eisner

Byleth took a short rest as he saw his father's room. He went inside and dug out a familiar diary from within its hiding spot. How many times has he read these entries in the past days? How many times did he skip the pages that detailed his birth? Green eyes swept over the pages as he started later entries anew.

_"Year 1168, Day 31 of the Wyvern Moon,_

_The day has exhausted its embers, the cold has started to creep in. The weather today has been bright despite all. It has been almost a decade since her death, and the little one's birth. Sometimes I cannot believe how much his face resembles hers. It's as if she were still here, in spirit._

_Today was the first time he said a word, it was in his sleep, yet no less special. He kept calling out for me and I held him close, I still don't know what else I could do to comfort him. Later, when he awoke in a fright, he burrowed into my side without a sound and I simply stroked his hair until he fell into slumber once more._

_Despite it all... I do not regret what I have done, and only mourn what I've lost in the process. The joy of fatherhood ne'er escape me, I must live for her, and now, for us."_

Byleth's delicate fingers tread lightly on the parchment of the book as he turned to the next entry.

_"Year 1168, Day 6 of the Red Wolf Moon,_

_Today was partly rain and partly cloud, it seemed to me as if the rain takes its toll heavily on Byleth as he kept falling asleep as we were riding. By nightfall we took refuge in a small village near the capital of the Holy Kingdom Faerghus as I will have a job to do in a couple of day's time._

_The little one has started speaking more, but I've given him another journal to write in if need be. His handwriting is terribly unclean as he favors his left, yet it makes me smile to see an occasional drawing among his notes. Today, he drew a small drawing of me and him. I asked him why and he seemed a little embarrassed as he scrawled the word 'together' before pointing to himself and me, he wrote next to the picture 'always.'_

_At first I wasn't sure if someone like me could be a father, yet it makes me incredibly elated to see him this affectionate despite his tired disposition. When I gave him a hug, I feel as though for the first time, he nestled closer. I didn't know I could feel this joyous after losing Sitri, maybe what I needed to heal has always been in front of me."_

As the journal entry concluded, there was a small scribble of what appeared to be Jeralt smiling, presumably done by a younger Byleth as it was labelled 'dad' with an arrow pointing to it. 

Byleth placed a gloved hand over his watery eyes as he gripped the leather cover, a single sob escaping his lips as he read on.

_"Year 1168, Day 21 of Red Wolf Moon,_

_Sunny yet cold. We've closed in to the capital. Byleth keeps talking about a girl with green hair, I don't know what to make of it all. Today he tripped and scraped his knee and main finger joints, he said it hurt but didn't look like he was even going to cry._

_As much as I love him dearly, sometimes the thought that he'll grow up like this scares me. I want him to know love and affection are an act just as natural as killing, or breathing._

_A part of me wants to make sure he reads this journal one day, but other parts want me to burn it. I've tried to think as little on each sentence to make sure it's as authentic as can be. I don't think I'm ready for him to read it, but, I know I'm ready enough to allow him to draw inside."_

There was a doodle which obscured some of the words, it was of a frowning Byleth and what appeared to be a very poorly drawn Sothis, which made him laugh a little. 

_"Year 1168, Day 27 of Red Wolf Moon,_

_It started to snow a while ago, Byleth seemed more happy with that than the rainy days. He tried to make a very poor imitation of a snowman and said it was supposed to be me. I praised him anyway, it made my heart melt to see him cheer up._

_Lately, I've been more scared than ever to leave him alone, he doesn't want to sleep alone at night, or anyone that isn't a familial face. He keeps talking of some tall woman and an old man fighting, how he doesn't want them to fight because it makes his head hurt when he wakes. I don't know how I can help him, but I let him stay by my side and don't doubt his fear._

_I found that he had collected a lone cat when we walked around this village. It seems that more often than not the animals tend to follow him, he doesn't mind as usually, but he seems to have a special soft spot for dogs and crows. He said that he kept feeding this crow and it gave him something shiny, when he showed it to me, it was a ring. I just hoped it wasn't someone's wedding band."_

Once again, it seemed that Jeralt let Byleth scribble on his pages as there was a drawing of a crow and an angry Jeralt. 

It only made Byleth wonder as he closed the journal, if his father kept the younger Byleth's diary, he would love to have a look at that someday.. Maybe it was in a similar place? In the same place, even?

Byleth got up and went to where the journal was hid before searching around, he felt an even smaller book which he pulled out. It was similar to Jeralt's own, but it was green,"Well... that was a little too easy to find, father."

As he opened the journal and read through it, there was something very clear to Byleth. He never remembered writing in it, in fact he didn't even knew he had a journal. The pages and writings weren't numbered at all, consisting of random doodles and phrases that he probably didn't understand as a child and noted down to ask Jeralt later, yet forgot. There were also a lot of very small sentences or paragraphs which Byleth found interesting:

_"Raphael said that those who don't pray to the Godess get what he called 'etrenal dalmation'. I don't really get it. I think he said you go to somewhere really hot. Maybe he was talking about the beaches?"_

_"Woofgang came up to me and gave me some chokolate today. I thanked him but it looked too nice to eat so I just hid it from him. When I looked to the place I put it it was gone. I don't remeber eating it."_

_"Dad cried today. I don't know what I did wrong. I wanted to hug him but he wouldn't let me. Is it my fault? I don't want to think about this anymore today."_

_"I asked Raphael if I had a mom. He didn't answer me and left me until dad found me collecting twigs on my own. He asked me where Raphael was and I said he left. He seemed angry again. I don't like it when he's mad."_

_"I found a dog today but he bit me. It really hurt but the tears didn't come."_

_"A doctor came by today to give me a ~~xamenashun~~ ~~examenation~~ a look. When he tried to hear my heart he looked really white. I asked dad why and he just shook his head. I put my hand up to where he put his ear but I didn't feel anything. When I put my head on dad's chest I hear something. Did I break something in me?" _

_"Wolfgang got really sad today.. He showed me a picture of a girl and I told him she looked nice. He got happy for a little and gave me a hug. He had a sound in his chest like dad. It sounded nice too."_

_"Sothis went up to dad and pestered him. She kept saying mean things. I don't know why but that made my chest feel funny. Dad said I looked angry. I didn't know I could do that."_

Byleth laughed at some, and went quiet at others. The journal was full of strange entries he didn't remember writing at all, yet he found that the Byleth of the past not so different to the Byleth of the present. He still found a nice heartbeat calming, it lulled him asleep like no other. And he still had an affinity for some animals... but he didn't really like how much conflict there was within him at a young age. He was hesitant to even comment on how he tried not to tell Jeralt his feelings, well, the pressure he felt in his chest. 

When Dimitri came to fetch him and talk, he had long hidden his father's journal, only hiding his own in the back of his pants to read later.


End file.
